she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Blood and glitter go together right?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
