I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
