got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
