i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
