i don't plan on having that self control this summer
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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