I seem to have left my pride at pride
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
