I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
