I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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