Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
