Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
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