I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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