turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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