I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
