Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
