I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
