i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You've changed since you got that strap on
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
