The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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