Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
