I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
