Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
