we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
