I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
