So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i came on her dog
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
