So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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