i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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