it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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