What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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