I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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