i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
