Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
