idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
