This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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