Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
