He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
