can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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