NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Randomize
