Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
