There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
