Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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