So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
