Are we in a gay sports bar?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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