Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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