hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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