So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
