David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
