I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
