I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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