you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
