Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
