Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
