I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
